if you ever need usless clutter

thailand is full of it.
let's start with a quick brief history of wat umong as was told to me. it caem about around 1380. it was populated until the 1500's when burma (not sure if it was burma then) invaded and this wat particularly had the right arm and head cut from every buddha to signify his unability to guide or assist them. then it was abandoned until teh 1700's when it had a brief occupation until bandits came and stole everything of value there. then it was left and squatted until the late 1800's when it was resurrected the heads were put back on the buddha's (although not the right ones necessarily) and now it is a wonderfully tranquil habitat. i only dream and whisper to the stars of how romanticize the reality of staying in a wat equal this for one month. this bicycle is taking me to wonderful and vast new places. it also is saving me money. alone today i straddled it one my journey to the dentist and then the train station on the complete opposite side of town, and i am not talking about old city. on a tuk tuk i could have expected to pay a couple of hundred baht for this. i also bought my train ticket to bangkok myself (581 Bt) instead of bending over to get kicked by the tourism shops for a whopping 930Bt. haha. i am almost out of money and learning to pinch my dollars (32Bt/$1) so as to eat and drink, because i cna't live without my lanna coffee and book before the dentist. well, i believe so atleast. beleive, what a dubious or indistinct word. really. the same as the word miss. ok, i'm sliding off the trail here. anyhow,
today was a double root canal day. because if you're going to do it you might as well go all the way. let me tell you my dentist office is completely astounding! i feel no pain now and have never taken medicine for it minus more antibiotics. so tired of antibiotics. all together it was 2.5 hours of work. i had another person do one of the root canal's besides my regular dentist who was remarkably fast and through. when i looked at the x-rays i thought the were a trick. (becasue nobody in thailand would ever try and trick you). they weren't though they were as real as a banana peel on a monkey's butt. again, their cleanliness and professionalism is grade a. i also heard more reccomendations from around the globe while there of how it's is the only place upon this abused sphere that they would let someone grind, stab, and poke around above their chinny chin chin. book your flight now.
i also successfully babystepped around the insect museum and had a wonderful and hilarious conversation with it's owner. some of the the insects in there are more intimidating than trying to eat when depressed at cafe gratitude. let me tell, you, some of those mosquitos would take a stitch to close. indeed.
a couple of nights ago i couldn't sleep and so i took my friend out for pad thai at this place i found. absolutely mouthwatering hunger quenching noodles. for the equivalent of 75 cents. we decided to go to this rock jock type bar with horrible music and farang jackasses playing pool and yelling obscenities while talking about sleeping with thai women. sometimes i wonder how stereotypes origionate. we wanted to check our email and this is the only place i knew of since i walked by every night to my old guesthouse. so we braved this primal bar of aborigional college drunks only for the slowest connection i've had in thailand. about 8 minutes into i look over at the narcoleptic human i drug to this den of iniquity only to find him passed out on the computer. i woke him up and we walked to my room so he could get his daybag. on the way we heard the toads that hang out in the soi's. we imagined (yes, real imagination, like figment in the golf ball at disney world) that is was a hmong woman on point and signaling with their toads to the others (the toads look like this)

tehn the story progressed to what if 50 of them rounded the corner all scraping their toads at us. then we would run the other way and get conerred by 50 on the other side. we decided that was the most horrifying incident that could occur in our life at that brief moment. you have to experience this to fully comprehend our terror.
teh sunday walking market was utterly overwhelming. to further the nourishment of this potent sense of displacement we went there straight from the wat which rest upon the bottom of the mountain with cicada's singing to you and ants attacking your feet. i walked around and bought a few things that were not edible (the food there is the best all around, and teh cheapest) and listened to some wonderful music. i also found a local organization for assistance via donation to burma that won't take any of you money you give. i checked out the credentials with locals. of which all were giving their hard-earned baht. suddenly my feet started feeling really sore and i had decided it time to leave this roadway of factory made icons. but, low and behold, i looked up to the shining light of a toyota sign, the point is that underneath it was people giving foot massages. my first massage in thailand was 30 minutes of relaxation with a little pain. after that i drank a thai coffee to try and keep me moving but i ended up going back to the tattoo shop and fading out on the couch. so i went home and took a shower. it was a great ending for the day. but not the end of my massages. today we went to the woman's prison for a one hour full body massage. i know what the hell are you doing getting massaged at a prison. well, they are properly trained and getting to work for six months before their release. all the money goes to them when they get out. i am a sucker for prisoner support and haev never had a thai massage. but they were booked solid. they referred me to a place called lila thai massage where some of them go to work after their return into this new and crazy world. i laid down after putting on the fancy hospital scrubs and got to learn a lesson in relaxation. i think we upset some english tourist though because we were all joking while i was getting massaged and she wanted her namaste' yogi blah blah blah. they were trying to teach em thai but couldn't speak the english translation so it was a good time for them and i got some good laughs also. now i am here. tomorrow i am either going to doi suthep and the caves or some waterfalls if i can't find a humane elephant camp to go too. it all basically depends on what sawngthaew i can get on for 100 Bt. it's kinda liek hopping into other peoples vacations. but i can't afford to book something. i like the randomness too. more explorative and such. this is after they do whatever they are going to do tomorrow at grace. so dear reader, i will continue this saga manana.....sawaidee kap!