home sweet stress

so i am back, i have a ton of stuff to write to you all about. i will get to it when i dont have oliver with me.

actually bangkok is not for lovers...even patpong

wow, this place is filthy and disgusting. i am quite exuberant with my choice of residing in chiang mai for my trip. i could have gotten alot done here as well but been miserable at the same time. i think i've figured out the tuk tuk sawngtheaw game also. tuk tuk's are for when you need to jsut get there and sawngtheaw's are for you to just get there. anyhow, i spent yesterday helping my friend take care of some of his chores and then had a mango shake with a few folks and headed for the satanii rot fai commonly known as the train station. it was a delightful experience doing nei gung on the platforms with kids mocking me. makes me learn to focus and receive humility better though. i got on the train and one of my friends ended up on it also. he had missed his train the day before waiting for money to be deposited in his account. i got to show off my new teeth to him. their fancy. then after we got moving i went to the diner car to meet him. i had no idea such a thing existed on my way up. goes to show the drunks know where to drink. the railway employee's and thai police got me to d.j. for the car and we were rocking out to subhumans, the bad things, and some dirty south rap. it was so surreal and hilarious at the same time. then a very drunk cop fed us freshly caught fish, only he wanted to put it in our mouths. so we let him as we have never been fed by a police officer before. it was delicious. i left after having a remarkably good green curry with duck and soup with unknown meat, went to finish my book and go to sleep. it was hot and i rather enjoyed the sound of the train anyhow bringing me back to past days so i opened the window and let in the breeze. i got woken up by a employee atleast five times and told to close it. but, i opened it right away again. i'm just stupid westerner anyhow. the best part was sitting and standing out the door. it made it have less of a passenger feel to it. i'm almost out of time and have no more 10 baht coins so i'm out. going to the forensic and medical oddities museum and then to the talisman market....nice. more to come as soon as i am sitting longer. i leave the guesthouse at 5am for the airport. OH, i forgot to mention that i talked with a monk while catching a ride the other day and he gave me a protective shiva talisman to keep me safe in all my paths. so i got my charms, the ganesh, shiva, and mary magdalene. i'm set for the sky....

i train hobbie ride motorpopsicle

so i amheaded out on the train back to bangkok today. i don't really have time to postand this computer is horrible. i will have a huge entry tomorrow morning (that's tonite for all of you ahmerEEkahn's) from bangkok. it will be sleep deprived and jumbled. sounds like fun. as sophie would say,rockin. ok wish me luck. on a warm summers evening on a train bound for bangkok. i met up with a drunk, he talked too much for me to sleep. so we took turns starin and pukin out the window. til boredom overtook us and there'sno food to eat. you've got to know when to hold em,know when to fold em, know when to gag their mouths, so you can sleep, you never count your money when walking in the market, there'll be none left for countin. with your brand new teeth. man, do i have a long ways to go and short attention span while gettin there.

ok, so i only have a minute

today is a scramble. i am being worked like a water buffalo during harvest today. i leave this wonderfully hot internet cafe loaded with the smell of sweaty farang who drink an abundance of alcohol and drop off my bike, go to my thai lesson (of which i will be in more detail about later), go to the dentist for the last time this trip(!), then head to a mutual friends tattoo shop for some new work. this is going to get a little hectic. i feel similar to the time i was 15 or 16 and on acid making scrambled eggs. the eggs turned into little baby chicks spasming about, then resumed their scrambled appearance. this was a profound moment in reality for me but that is straying form the topic at hand. that being. i sympathize with the eggs as i relate to their feelings during this blending of the body. hah, i'm nuts. yesterday i went to meet my friend dumpy who has been having a hard time. i trekked my little feet across the hot concrete to rescue him from the taxi's at the train station. he wasn't on the train. so i meet this couple by corralling them into a sawngthaew before they knew what they were doing and getting them to get a room at my guest house. i think i found a way to make money here. i'm good at that. i just wanted cheap fare to be honest with you though. dumpy showed up a couple of hours later after i got back from the big mall. we went for food and entertainment. i just want to find canned bugs honestly. sounds marvelous. so i have ot make my way now, i hope to fit in an interview with someone who has gone through alot of medical procedure here and see their opinions on thai healthcare so i can report back to you but i am not sure it will work out. either way the best is yet to come.....especially since i'm broke....hahaha

flying turtles dropping kao phod on mcdonalds

it is hot and the ants are marching one by one out of my pores right this instant. no really, where the hell do they keep coming from.....

days are days, it's true

yup, sitting in air conditioning drinking some coffee and listening to metal. just had some curry and milk with honey and again am tired of being a farang here in the enchaningly smoggy city of chiang mai becasue my food doesn't et cooked spicy. yes, i understand that besides the fact most of us can't handle hte heat that i can add chilies from the table. but it's different when it's cooked in. the other day i got some udon soup and the guy said he make it no spicy for me. i said to please make it normal and spicy. he said sure and laughed. i guess i deserve it. wait, do i?
i really like the guesthouse i am at now. i plan on coming back to it next time i am here. the head lady isn't the most charming of hostesses but her inn is amazing. i talked to the owners brother also the other day who was visiting. it is interesting talking with the wealthier people here versus the working class. they seem so relaxed and untroubled. i still can't relate. i know what my life is going to be when i return and i look forward to it. thailand has deffinitely made an impression not unlike stepping in wet sand on me. it's funny too, while it seems so cheap here really it isn't. a realization i keep watching people go through. especially if you go to bars. you're money will practiacally leap out of your pocket into the lurking farang owners bar. i could rant forever but i am free today and plan on heading out of town for a few hours.
my friends left today. well, some of them. so i am roaming alone again. i did get them to go out and do things they otherwise wouldn't have though. i think i'm pretty good at corraling people up and pointing them in a direction and saying, let's walk. it will be what it is. i am also free tomorrow, friday the 13th. although i don't think that means anything here. but i realize i am missing some amazing party somewhere at home...darn. i could jsut go laugh at tourist with teh ladyboys instead.
grace has done me right. i finish on saturday there. i will have alot of teeth by that point. in fact i think i will only be missing a couple of which wheni come back to thailand next year to complete these crowns also ( i have temps in until then) i will have a full mouth. you can't go wrong there. but i still miss my gap a little. i'm telling you they are so good, get yoru butt over here and start eating again. i went by teh other place i was going to torture myself at. dental4u. it looks kinda crappy. i believe i made the right decision.
i went out for a oil massage with a friend last night. we biked around until we found a place that seemed ok. i went upstairs and took off my clothes (minus underwear) and laid down on teh most uncomfortable pillow i can recall. then people kept lurking bhind hte curtain and by my stuff. it's not uncommon for folks to get robbed while receiving a massage. then we heard (my friend was on tehother side of the room) some guy tlaking to the girls negotiating his price for a happy ending and beyond. after that conversation and about 12 minutes into my hour long massage the lady i have switched with another who applied about 4 pounds of pressure the whole time. i couldn't tell if i was being painted or massaged. then some guy comes up yelling hello for 5 minutes until someone met him. then their kids came up right after and turned on teh television so all you could hear was it blasting. i don't even know what my massuse looked like as i didn't want to look at her and have her see my frustration. my friend said hers was alright. she got an old lady. so now i know, old ladies or the blind for a good massage. remember that.
i go play now

wet shorts and short stories

so i did some more exploring today. i ate a marvelous breakfast at a guesthouse and cafe known as blue diamond. it is on soi 8 and i highly recommend it if you are traveling this way. they also have nutritious snacks you can buy and hilltribe coffee from the hilltribe. then i went to doi suthep. the story behind this is one of the rama's set a white elephant (they get all of them as considered royalty) with a special buddha free to have it delivered to a holy spot. well, where the elephant died is where they built the temple. it's a 100baht ride on sawngtheaw's to get up there but it is up the mountain. i got some good pictures and was blessed by a monk. then i returned to chiang mai on the back of a sanwgtheaw standing up. it was so much fun. people looked at me like i was crazy (hmmm) as we ere driving really fast down a mountain. i've done dumber things. so we get back down and i go to get my bike so i can devour some more eclectic foods not of the southwest, but still with some heat. out of nowhere i get a call to be ready to go fro my friend sophie i haven't seen in 12 years or so and she pickes me up on a motorbike and we go get a car. we are headed to a lake to swim and eat. we get there and who is the next person to arrive but my friend lee. who i also haven't seen i the same amount of time and ironically enough we all lived in the same house. how strange is that? lee jsut got out of prison for being two days on his immigration as he was in hte hospital having a blood transfusion. hte thai police didn't care. so he did 2.5 months. lame. then we go swimming as more thai punks and tattoo artist show up. it was wonderful warm water and we had tubes. all in all a delight. then the food comes. it was tom yum, vegetables, some kao (rice), a big whole fish that was spicy, and soem live shrimp and other things. i have never eaten anything still alive before. it was a awakening and intense experience. and a delicious one. then the sun set and we hung out mawinly by candle light and came homw. i ate some food and am going to bed as i have 4 (four) dental appointments tomorrow. i will write more then. good night

if you ever need usless clutter

thailand is full of it.
let's start with a quick brief history of wat umong as was told to me. it caem about around 1380. it was populated until the 1500's when burma (not sure if it was burma then) invaded and this wat particularly had the right arm and head cut from every buddha to signify his unability to guide or assist them. then it was abandoned until teh 1700's when it had a brief occupation until bandits came and stole everything of value there. then it was left and squatted until the late 1800's when it was resurrected the heads were put back on the buddha's (although not the right ones necessarily) and now it is a wonderfully tranquil habitat. i only dream and whisper to the stars of how romanticize the reality of staying in a wat equal this for one month. this bicycle is taking me to wonderful and vast new places. it also is saving me money. alone today i straddled it one my journey to the dentist and then the train station on the complete opposite side of town, and i am not talking about old city. on a tuk tuk i could have expected to pay a couple of hundred baht for this. i also bought my train ticket to bangkok myself (581 Bt) instead of bending over to get kicked by the tourism shops for a whopping 930Bt. haha. i am almost out of money and learning to pinch my dollars (32Bt/$1) so as to eat and drink, because i cna't live without my lanna coffee and book before the dentist. well, i believe so atleast. beleive, what a dubious or indistinct word. really. the same as the word miss. ok, i'm sliding off the trail here. anyhow,
today was a double root canal day. because if you're going to do it you might as well go all the way. let me tell you my dentist office is completely astounding! i feel no pain now and have never taken medicine for it minus more antibiotics. so tired of antibiotics. all together it was 2.5 hours of work. i had another person do one of the root canal's besides my regular dentist who was remarkably fast and through. when i looked at the x-rays i thought the were a trick. (becasue nobody in thailand would ever try and trick you). they weren't though they were as real as a banana peel on a monkey's butt. again, their cleanliness and professionalism is grade a. i also heard more reccomendations from around the globe while there of how it's is the only place upon this abused sphere that they would let someone grind, stab, and poke around above their chinny chin chin. book your flight now.
i also successfully babystepped around the insect museum and had a wonderful and hilarious conversation with it's owner. some of the the insects in there are more intimidating than trying to eat when depressed at cafe gratitude. let me tell, you, some of those mosquitos would take a stitch to close. indeed.
a couple of nights ago i couldn't sleep and so i took my friend out for pad thai at this place i found. absolutely mouthwatering hunger quenching noodles. for the equivalent of 75 cents. we decided to go to this rock jock type bar with horrible music and farang jackasses playing pool and yelling obscenities while talking about sleeping with thai women. sometimes i wonder how stereotypes origionate. we wanted to check our email and this is the only place i knew of since i walked by every night to my old guesthouse. so we braved this primal bar of aborigional college drunks only for the slowest connection i've had in thailand. about 8 minutes into i look over at the narcoleptic human i drug to this den of iniquity only to find him passed out on the computer. i woke him up and we walked to my room so he could get his daybag. on the way we heard the toads that hang out in the soi's. we imagined (yes, real imagination, like figment in the golf ball at disney world) that is was a hmong woman on point and signaling with their toads to the others (the toads look like this)

tehn the story progressed to what if 50 of them rounded the corner all scraping their toads at us. then we would run the other way and get conerred by 50 on the other side. we decided that was the most horrifying incident that could occur in our life at that brief moment. you have to experience this to fully comprehend our terror.
teh sunday walking market was utterly overwhelming. to further the nourishment of this potent sense of displacement we went there straight from the wat which rest upon the bottom of the mountain with cicada's singing to you and ants attacking your feet. i walked around and bought a few things that were not edible (the food there is the best all around, and teh cheapest) and listened to some wonderful music. i also found a local organization for assistance via donation to burma that won't take any of you money you give. i checked out the credentials with locals. of which all were giving their hard-earned baht. suddenly my feet started feeling really sore and i had decided it time to leave this roadway of factory made icons. but, low and behold, i looked up to the shining light of a toyota sign, the point is that underneath it was people giving foot massages. my first massage in thailand was 30 minutes of relaxation with a little pain. after that i drank a thai coffee to try and keep me moving but i ended up going back to the tattoo shop and fading out on the couch. so i went home and took a shower. it was a great ending for the day. but not the end of my massages. today we went to the woman's prison for a one hour full body massage. i know what the hell are you doing getting massaged at a prison. well, they are properly trained and getting to work for six months before their release. all the money goes to them when they get out. i am a sucker for prisoner support and haev never had a thai massage. but they were booked solid. they referred me to a place called lila thai massage where some of them go to work after their return into this new and crazy world. i laid down after putting on the fancy hospital scrubs and got to learn a lesson in relaxation. i think we upset some english tourist though because we were all joking while i was getting massaged and she wanted her namaste' yogi blah blah blah. they were trying to teach em thai but couldn't speak the english translation so it was a good time for them and i got some good laughs also. now i am here. tomorrow i am either going to doi suthep and the caves or some waterfalls if i can't find a humane elephant camp to go too. it all basically depends on what sawngthaew i can get on for 100 Bt. it's kinda liek hopping into other peoples vacations. but i can't afford to book something. i like the randomness too. more explorative and such. this is after they do whatever they are going to do tomorrow at grace. so dear reader, i will continue this saga manana.....sawaidee kap!

until you are enlightened you have no right to judge

i know i know i just came from an introduction to buddhism at wat umong. it is so beautiful there in the woods. makes me want to hit doi suthep but i wnat to take abike up there and cruise down if i do. wait, i can, i rented a bike today! it costs me 50 baht a day which is one tuktuk ride at minimum for farang. i am so excited and sweaty from riding here. the humidity and heat remind me of new orleans while riding. i took a little video of strolling traffic, let me tell you. it can be hectic. puts chaos theory into light. last night i was suffering insomnia and met a friend to go get food. we had amazing pad thai for 75 cents us and walked to a bar that has the internet so i could try and skype nyssa and he could do whatever he did. he fell asleep on the computer but is narcoleptic so i excused him. everyone else just though he knew how to party. really, it's like bourbon street sometimes these themed place with whiskey buckets and college jocks puking on the free pool tables then telling thai girls there hot. anyways, it's sunday market tie but i have a whole lot to tell you later. oh, and teh dental world begins again tomorrow...stay tuned.

what's up joe

i heard this atleast ten times this morning as i coerced myself into getting lost in old city. this is my free weekend. then it's the land of root canal and crown everyday until i go to bangkok and leave for home. this morning i tromped an unbeaten path and visited the wat's i wanted to see. starting off with "donald eating noodle." here i had my first conversation of the day. it was with a thai man who teaches muay thai and is a 4th dan in kyokushin. he was nice but as it usually occurs, he wanted me to "go " somewhere with him. take a sawngthaew with him to some exhibition 15-20 minutes away torwards the mountain. he didn't want my money is how he introduced the amazing offer i would have been a moron to refuse. when i asked him where this exhibition is so i could go later. he persisted i go now with him. he said it was ok because he was from australia and married to white woman with many kids. he liked the word fuck alot so i almost believe him. i responded how i had to meet my friends and he told me he is from the mountain and visiting his family. i must go now. when i responded i couldn't he said ok then bye bye and shooed me with his hand. i realize this is a drawn out story but this happens alot here. i have spent alot of time having wonderful conversations with thai's but alot of them end this way. maybe it is innocent but i have a hard time leaving town with a stranger who makes it very clear he doesn't want my money. i'm almost so broke i can barely pay attention as it is. oh, that might be a.d.h.d. also. ooops! yesterday i had another root canal done. my main dentist has a great personality. she shines like the sun on a still lake. of which i am grateful. let me tell you i've had a few moments where i was nervous about the whole procedure. wondering if i was looking for a rock in the bottom of a lake. but like the evangelicals raise their arms to the sky's and speak in words non-communicable, i too am raising my arms to the same sky and thanking it for the opportunity to be here and get this done. the testimonials i have received first hand from locals to snooty farang about how great grace dental is makes me sure i made the right choice. ok, end the commercial now.
i can't go on about how wonderful this morning is. the sun is out, i sat listening to monks chant at wat chedi luang and staring at the fascinating temple it is. i donated 500 baht to the construction project. then i went and had a thai breakfast which is rice soup with chicken and to the market down the soi from my house where i get fresh mango or pineapple for 10 baht every morning. all together breakfast here if i do it this way cost me 65 baht. for coffee, food, and fruit. and it is amazing. the funny part about this morning is well, let me back up. the roads here are insane. but it is a controlled chaos. there are no rules really and it shows. but when you drive this way your whole life then you can do it. people who don't drive this way their whole life, farang (westerner). they drive with as much tact as a blind dog has playing fetch. i was almost hit twice today by them on their rented motorbikes. i had to jump onto a truck sitting for one who looked at me angrily about it and spewed out the intelligent slogan, "up yers." good job there buddy. probably nursing his hangover from too much chang the night before. oh, nobody local drinks chang. just so you know. another thing that makes it hard here is the younger couples who move here and open businesses. they are completely disrespectful to locals due to their much earned superiority. the older couples who retire here though almost balance it out. they are pleasant and adhere to thai mannerisms. the other thing i have noticed is and large chunk of tourist come here to have a cheap vacation, get a room for 2000+ baht a nght and then complain at restaurants and carts about having to pay 80 baht for a meal an how expensive it i and they are obviously being taken advantage of. they also haggle at the night bazaar almost line for line out of the lonely planet travel guide. which isn't necessarily bd but they do it with attitude and try an talk down say 400 bath to 80 baht form locals who need to make a living also. it never works either but i hear them repeating themselves booth after booth. here's a hint, everything at the night bazaar for the most part is crap anyways. it's nt unlike winning prizes at the fair. atleast in my opinion. only there are no funnel cakes. i keep having to retype everything due to my horribly broken english i speak now.
the other thing is when they do open business most of them are schmucks. i met one guy who owns a bar last night. tried to seem cool, he was from london. he had a thai wife who was working behind the bar. he had g.g. allin on the projector and drank his beer in ice. then he started asking us where are bitches were and why we dont have many thai girls following us. i replied how i have no interest in that. he thought i was a freak. he just talked about tattoo's again (popular subject). i walked my friend to her guesthouse and went back to mine after a girl came into the bar and him and two mates of his started reeling her in. she was drunk and they were very forward. one line i didn't understand was them saying she could be pregnant and them rubbing her stomach. what kind of ridiculous line was that? we left then, completely disgusted. i'm glad i'm not a "dude." anyhow, the dark ships in the sky that drip warm liquid crystals onto my already warm head are sailing my way so i am going to go and find someone to go see elephants with me. i will get pictures if it is not raining. i have missed out on alot of opportunities due to this wonderful inconvenience. my poncho i bought back home was the best idea i had. really. more tales of lady boys, tuk tuk's, dead things (oh i forgot about that), burma (tomorrow, mae soi), curry, and how to survive thailand without toilet paper to come. i'm going to put on my sarang, take off my shit and get ripped now, woohoo spring break.....idiots.
oh i almost forgot, sad story. last night i was at a bar with my friends and an elephant walks up. it is illegal now in chiang mai to have them in the city. these assholes who parade them around charging farang to feed and take pictures with them deserve to be beat. they feed the elephants meth amphetamines to keep them awake late at night and able to walk and treat them like crap. i was so upset when i saw this. i told the elephant i was sorry and avoided my immediate reaction of beating this guy up. that's what he's doing to it. i went in the bar and actually had my eyes water up. my friends took me away saying they had the same reaction the first time.....sometimes, well, alot of the time, i cant stand humans

weather

当这个美妙的潮湿的空气浸泡入我的皮肤我时为雨坐并且祈祷。 我不知道，但是我为什么感觉丢失很多，即使那是它怎么应该是。 现在下雨。

i hate the b word

usually don't go. nothing is in wow, alot has happened since i last wrote. but that should be how it is on this path to better health and living. i had my first day at grace dentistry yesterday. i expected to go in for my initial exam and return the following day to begin. instead i spent the entire day there. the facilities were as sterile as a 90 year old couples house in dallas texas. you could pass the white glove test. i was truly impressed. the technology was far beyond what i have seen ever in the states and they send alot of their specialist (26 six or seung sip hock of them) to the states for further schooling s well. both competent and professional i would give them two thumbs up. not to downplay painless in tahoe. he did as amazing job on my front teeth and i would recommend him to you for caring and top quality work in the california/nevada area. i, as previously stated, received a murder of more work than i anticipated, all in total, exam, x-rays, cleaning, four fillings , one root canal, one surgical extraction. all for the total of $586us. most of the staff spoke perfectly fine english and had a great sense of humor. the insect museum is also four blocks away so if you have time between you can go there. you can catch a sawngthaew for no more than 30 baht if you want to go right there. if they are headed that way it will be 10 baht. all in all i can't tell you how good the experience was. here is a link to their practice.
http://www.gracedentalclinic.com/
today i am getting another root canal after i visit the insect museum. also yesterday i got a new pair of simply dazzling spectacles. vision in 3-d is so much more exhilarating than the boring old 2-d. i can't believe you see in this everyday. you are very fortunate. while i was getting work done yesterday i went and had soup when i had an hour between appointments. i ate some sea life i still cannot recognize or begin too, blue balls and big octopuses, fresh eel, and something solid and round sliced thin that was VERY fishy. it was delicious though. a tantalizing and sweaty eyeball concoction. i love trying to order food in the area's the farangenglish. i also must mention that while i enjoy putting around on the tuktuk i wouldn't call it the method of transit you should make a regular part of your visit. take the sawngthaew (red trucks) basically anywhere in town for 20 baht. tonite i am getting a tattoo at my friends shop he works at and then i am planning on one more at naga. if you get tattoo's here (especially in chiang mai) do not mention going to other shops when visiting one. there is serious rivalry here and it will be taken as disrespect.
today after i go to the dentist i am considering going to a shooting range to fire .50 caliber machine guns. you don't get the opportunity very often. i went into an army/navy type shop here today outside of the wall and there were people putting together machine guns to look at for buying. behind the counter was a very small thai lady about 20 years old who was an expert. once again proving my point that when guns are freely available nobody gets shot. that's a huge can to open now though.
tomorrow morning if they don't make another dentist appointment today (i'm supposed to have 3 days off) i am going to go to mae sai and cross into burma. i am overflowing with curiosity especially post nargis. this may be one of the only open crossings along the whole border. of course you have to pay for entry both ways but it will be worth it. then i return and get ready for the sunday walking market. that is very exciting also. also and inviting thought is to finish my work i will have to come back again. i need healing time before i can get a couple of teeth finished. so that is another great opportunity.
sure he last night i ran into three friends from the states. two of which arrived that afternoon. it was one of their birthdays and so we went out for drinks, well coca-cola for me. we went to a punk bar and some wasted english hippies were running around in nothing but shorts and almost started a fight with the birthday boy. you don't want to be around a fight. going to jail is not the same as getting a massage at the woman's prison. oh yeah, i have a good scam with the tourist police (yes, there are two police forces here and the local won't really lift a hand for you). if you want to know write me and i will tell you about it. it is pretty much foolproof and can cover part of your expenses. after that my friend likes ladyboys and preferably was wanting to "hang out" with a post op. so we went down to the street you meet them on and had a drink at "juicy" bar. i met a couple of kratooey's amd we sat and talked. nicest people i have met so far. and contrary to popular myth not i was never propositioned by them. when walking by one bar i was spanked, hit in the back, and had my hand grabbed pretty much all at the same time. but with a gentle laugh and smile suppressing my initial anger it was really no big deal. especially after hearing my isreali friends stories of how the men were to his girlfriend while walking around. all of them grabbing her personal spots without a care in the world and he doesn't really know how to stop it. sucks, there was so much frustration still when they talked about it. to finish the story since my mind want to go to a museum now, we left our friend with the card to his guesthouse with the boys. i'mwas well taken care of. i'll write more later....after the frogs start singing...i will try an get pictures\video later

wait until tomorrow

i've been in grace dentistry 7 hours and have more to go. exam, x-rays, cleaning, 4 fillings, 1 replacement root canal from one i chipped, and now i'm not sure what, i'll know in 30 minutes. i'll tell you more later or tomorrow.....until then, know that it's working.

the road to the mighty north

so i survived bangkok with out a scratch i think. khao san is a world of it's own. been livin most their lives livin in a consumeristic paradise let me tell you. everyone is helpful and wants to know where you are from. they also already know your name. it's joe. when i went walking through the poor neighborhoods and the places where there were no stores. i received not one inquiry as to where i was going and if i needed a ride or a ticket. upon my rambling through the tiny dark alleys i probably shouldn't have explored (and got yelled at for even pulling my camera out the first time i did) there was no handshake (which feels wrong). but i made it through. i went to four wat's yesterday and all of them were amazing. i especially liked the golden mount and of course wat prakaeo was amazing. i was also fond of the smaller wat ratchabophit. i had my first shadow there. it was a buddhist holiday (i believe i wrote about that) and it was 20 baht to pray in the temple. this guy kep tasking em for it so he could pray for his family. i gave it to him more to leave me alone than kindness to be completely honest. then he started folling me and wouldn't talk. everywhere i went he was five feet away staring with hollow eyes into my head. it was eerie. so was his bright yellow shirt. which isn't what you wear when stalking someone. hte difference between day and night is also amazing. at night ther are a few street vendors with food out, during the day you are bombarded with an onslaught of crap. althoguh i almost gave in for this leather hip satchel. but i was strong. i didn't get anything. it seemed to overwhelming. i did however have four different curries in the last two days and holy inferno of thai chilies was it delicious. worth the ticket itself. no more tuk tuk for me. well, maybe. i haven't graced myself on one yet, figured i would tomorrow when i go to the dentist. then i will rent a motorbike in the afternoon and be free. oh another thing i liked about bangkok is my new sandal collection. they are everywhere, people must buy new ones everyday because they are sitting outside and look really nice. i love the ones i have on now and i have 5 (pronounced haa) pairs to bring home. people are funny with their waste. ok, i am kidding, i know they were left outside out of respect and i still have the funny looking ones i came with.
i also must mention that this is a special year for me. i will have amazing karma and good luck. let me tell ali-baba nd his forty psychics know. i met each of them yesterday. thtey knew my mothers name and what i was thinking. they wnted my hand. i thought that was an expensive price and kindly told them (remember this one it will save you) mai ow krap - don't want thanks. you have no idea how much i have said that, khap khun khrap, and sabai dee mai. thank you and how are you. the khrap ends all sentences for males and females use ka so if you say this at your local thai restaurant you dont sound rude. the only other place i can direct you to in bangkok is down the street torwards the wat, you'll see the 7-11 turn there. also, if you can help it, never stay at rambuttri village inn. i was told twin hotel is the ticket. but if i miss it on my return i will stay and the greenhouse. that is reputable. if you don't know what you want though i am sure someone might be able to tell you what you want. the people are generally nice though if you show interest in talking and not just asking a question they dont understand. oh, a little thai goes a long way also. you can always bring up muay thai boxing too. everyone loves muay thai. can you blame them?
so i went to hualamphong station a few hours before my train and wandered the crowede aisles of china town. i was looking for this magical indian alley that i still wrestle with the notion of it actually existing. i looked for an hour without luck. but i could barely move with my pack on so i didn't cover too much ground. there are some amazing slaughtered animals in teh back alleys that turn into food. delicious food. anyways, the point being if you want to eat on the train, get food before hand, and not just your dinner but breakfast lunch and snacks, and for godsakes buy some damn water. really it's 28 c here and you're carrying 32 kilos on your back you need to stay hydrated. oh and i recommend lays nori flavored potato chips, fresh mango, and those cookies that are smores. oh yeah. the food in the station sucks. unless you want fried fried stuff, kfc, or dunkin donuts. the internet cafe there is 20 baht for 5 minutes so forget that. but, i found some wonderful conversations. i seem to talk to thai people more than westerners which i would imagine to be preferable since i am in thailand but you would be surprised. i met a girl who i talked to in the station and on the train who is from utah and going to a muay thai camp having never trained martial arts in her life for a month. that is doing it right, and i talked with two people form isreal who i brought to my guesthouse and they have the room next to me. which by the way, cm blue house. 300 baht a night for a huge room bathroom and small outdoor space. you cant really beat it. compared to my 450 in bangkok i would expect this to run me 1000 baht. i also talke to a guy from a small village in central thailand about politics, lopburi and (the place everyone loves) chiang rai and tattoo's. he was very nice and said he hopes more visitors are like me. awwww. i also saw while attempting to go to sleep the largest buddha ever. really, like 100 feet tall. i kid you not. all gold. i had a hard time sleeping on the train. al my time hopping them in the states (do i sound cultured now) kicked the senses back in. we slow down i wake up waiting to hear the engines leave. we speed up and i just want to stick my head out. i took alot of video and sound footage of the train, i will post it when i have a chance. i loved the trainride. it was the best part of thailand so far. the locals and their food and the comfortable bunk (get a bottom even though it cost a little more, the window is worth it) oh it was wonderful. i also met alot of insects i picked up and set free. strange looking ones i have never seem that had talons which dug into my fingers quite surprisingly. still they were wonderful adorable creatures. and the water buffalo in the thung naa (rice paddies) were a site to see. one phrase i am trying to remember is mai kow jai khar toort khrap which is i dont understand sorry. it si helpful but i keep screwing it up. people just laugh though. anyways, you dont need aircon for anything, the fans are fine and you can stretch, do situps, and pushups on your bunk. so there. also if you are a couple it is discouraged to sleep together on the train, but westerners break every rule here. walking around shirtless and drunk. go us. i am going to explore now. more to come. tomorrow, dentist, and hopefully insect museum and corpse museum. i sure do know how to turn myself on.....
saiwadee

bangkok is for lovers

so i made it to the airport in oakland three hours in advance as was recommended and low and behold it was a complete farce. i sat there listening to the breathtaking piano of lebensessenz pondering the irony of them wanting me there so ridiculously early so i can spend more overly taxed money yet the only place open was some horrible burrito place. i'll be damned if i am going to buy a $7 burrito that is three inches long and wrapped in more aluminum than a rim of a bicycle. the actual reason for this is a complete remodel of this closet sized airport including two, yes, two starbucks, so you only have to walk one minute instead of two and a half for coffee. they drove out the private place with smoothies and peet's which is far superior in my snobbish introverted opinion. oh two points in this, one cab's a expensive, $35 expensive from macarthur bart and that is because bart doesn't run until 8 on sundays, however economic that is.
lax was a whole different story, i was not expecting to be walking through security armed to the teeth including machine guns. i also learned of the greatness of duty free shopping. you can buy all the booze, perfume, cigarettes, etc... you want and have them brought to you at the gate so you don't have to deal with them through security. this is in every airport i graced with my stinky presence. i thought the drug dogs were going to get me since my armpits smelled of weed. i saw them looking. really, i did. flying into l.a. made me feel a little sick also. disgusted to the same degree i get when i wat baraka or koyaaniskatsi, you know the feeling you get when you come down off of a few hits of acid and you're still awake. exchange was up though 35baht on the dollar. which was fantastic. oh, don't let me forget to drill this into your head. if y ou want any food or drink before flying air china. get it in the main hall before you go through security. once you get through there is nothing but booze, hotdogs, and prepackaged sandwiches. i spent my time studying thai and drooling over the thought of eating pon suu rot (look it up).
on the plane i first talked with this business man from india who was the genuinely happiest person i saw the whole time. he told me to tell the world that singapore airlines is the best airline in the world. so there you go. it was funny to me that i flew to l.a. only to come back up and fly over the u.s. to seattle and then alaska. seems i could have done it another way. i did get to have a conversation with a nice old lady who pee'd alot about kung fu, muay thai, and thailand although she had never been here i think (she didn't understand any english). it reminded me of working in kitchens in texas but without the props to assist teh language barrier. it was fun. i got to eat pork fried rice, bread, fruit, and some dessert that tasted like a sweet tiramisu but had some strange yellow gel on top. i was exhausted and i think i pee'd on russia while chasing the sun.
whiel i was sittin gin the airport in taiwan i was looking around and noticed something was aloof. then it hit me. hte only obese (and not repulsively) person was a buddhist monk who kept smiling at me. how's that for culture shock. it was there that the problematic situation of me not being abnle to sleep on airplanes took over. you see. there isn't much room for a 6' tall person to sit, so i was cramped but got a little more comfortable with the help of good ol valium. i sat and stretched under a sign that reminded you that drug trafficing is punishable by death. yee-haw!
there was nobody next to me from taipei to bangkok so i got to stretch out a little. i woke up to us about to land and some horrible cartoon with a white bear that had the worst luck ever. i think it was called backkom. disturbing. i got my 30 day visa and went to get a bus. well, the A2 bus to khao san doesn't run until 6am now so i went to get a public taxi. don't do this. while the drivers are nice and take you to many hotels although you don't want to. oh wait, that was the point. get a cab from one of the services inside the airport. they will get you where you need to go. i finally get to khao san and a room at rambuttri village inn. it seems that when you want a room at 2.30am here the only ones available are with air conditioning (atleast 100 baht more). and my air was actually a glorified fan. but it was a bed and shower and i was grateful. i went to get food past all the "pizza" places and had some pad thai made on the street by a nice lady. it was delicious. then i decided to calm my nerves and get a chang beer. little did i know i was entering bourbon street for the british. it smelled and sounded the same. the waitstaff looked at me funny for ordering a small beer. i looked around, i was the only one with one. oh and so you all know, thai beer is stronger than us beer. also expect to pay a deposit around $1000 baht for a room. dont' worry you get it back. now, i trudge forth to hualamphong station after breakfast and make my way to chiang mai. i am excited. i feel like it will be alot more real than here. bangkok feels like plastic and cheap perfume. more to come this computer is driving me nuts. the guy next to me just went outside to puke anyhow, silly aussie. so i don't want to smell him anymore. pob gan mai